Miss Manners: Treat the affected clerk the next time with compassion

Dear Miss Manners: While traveling, my husband and I decided to stop for the night. I called a large, middle-class chain hotel. During the interview, the receptionist asked me to put me on hold. It was a long time, but I thought she had to wait for someone at the counter.

A few minutes later we arrived at the hotel. The same woman was at the desk. In the middle of our discussion she apologized and went to the back. It was a long wait again and when she finally came out, I asked if something was wrong.

"I am sick," she said. I asked her if she meant her stomach. It was. I asked if it was contagious, and she said, "I hope not." I was shocked and pulled back from the sink and said that I did not want to get sick. She said she understood and asked her manager to wait for me, then went back to the back. I waited and waited and no one came out. I assume she had to vomit again.

I told my husband that I just wanted to leave. He was very annoyed with me, but we left. He said that I was incredibly rude and embarrassed with the way I reacted physically.

My biggest concern was not catching what she had. Besides standing right in front of her, she would have handled my credit card, the room keys, the pen and the paperwork that I could handle.

Was I rude? I just did not want to get sick. How else should I deal with the situation?

With at least an appearance of politeness for the person who is actually ill before being digested by the distance probability of your own illness.

Dear Miss Manners: What does "elegant shades of white" mean for bridal attire?

That the bride is the most unusual combination dictatorial, yet willing to be in the spotlight.

Dear Miss Manners: If a gift is given, is it ever appropriate for the giver to tell the recipient that more time and effort has been put into the gift than might be noticed? ("Believe it or not, it has taken all day to find just the right one for you.")

On the one hand, because it is the thought that counts, the recipient may want to know how much he thinks ("That was so nice of you!"). On the other hand, such revelations can affect the gift and come as a terrible catch for gratitude.

Even if there is a direct investigation ("How long did it take before you made it?"), Is it permissible to respond immediately, or is deflection ("Oh, it really was not a problem") the preferred answer?

"Oh, I had so much fun find / order / limit this gift for you. I really hope you enjoy it. "If you are asked for more information, Miss Manners allows you to enjoy modestly, admit, not luxuriantly.

New columns from Miss Manners will be posted on archynety.com/advice from Monday to Saturday. You can ask questions to Ms. Manners on her website, missmanners.com.

2018, by Judith Martin

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